hey, it’s me.
i hope you read this, but you probably won’t. yeah i’ve been distant lately, partly because your mom scares the shit out of me. but i didn’t know what to do after that tuesday. this wasn’t for me, it wasn’t for you, it’s for both of us. i saw your face and the way you looked at me, i couldn’t do it to you anymore. i want you to realize this isn’t me being an asshole, it’s me making things easier for you. it’s me realizing that being friends with you is giving you hope for something that won’t happen. it’s my fault. i’m not one to shut the door immediately, i kept talking to you, i still loved you. but i don’t think you believe that. if i really hated you and didn’t care at all, i wouldn’t have texted you and hung out with you BEHIND that person’s back. i took a chance for you. after we weren’t anything anymore. because what we had was amazing. i would never ever forget that. i went to pinchot today. i walked on that path we walked on. and i smiled. maybe one day you can with me. as friends. as past lovers who can still stand each other. but for right now, i want you to explore. i want you to get over me. i want you to do it any way possible. find a girl. drink some whiskey (ew). play basketball. call me a bitch. anything. please. i still care. i do. please understand that every word i write is from my heart. i’m here.